The World That Never Was

2008-03-03T21:57:00.003+08:00

hmm lets see... gotta start off with sumfink a lil fantastic... firstly i might haf jz set a new personal best in e event of most loved ones hurt in 5 mins... eryfink i did i considered carefully but still made e hurtful decisions... i guess its kinda my talent to not consider anifink before making any choices... i jz go with e wan dat suits e circumstances at e moment not finkin of e consequences... now i haf n even bigger choice to make at hand... its either i go straight to e US alone or i go taylors college with frens... if i fail to achieve wad is expected of me by choosing e latter i will actually b wasting both money n time... zit a risk i shud take? can sumwan drop me a suggestion? finks arent alwiz as it seems... i learnt dat e hard way... sumtimes u mite fink u noe a person but in fact u dun...e persons jz anoder stranger to u... mebe slightly closer den one... almoz eryone's started college or pre-u or any studies at all yet i'm stil slacking at home doing nafink... lazie to even move... wad the hell's wrong...time waits for no man yet dere's a man here waiting for time to pass... wrong decisions made at e beginning cant require more effort to change in e last minute.. regrets make up most of my life... but den hurt n disappointment are so far wad i haf to offer... distracted by eryfink n focusing on none... any target in life cant b realised with dis kind of attitude... im not s great s u fink i m... im not superman... mebe u fink im capable of sumfink or mebe sumfink i do make me seem great but den e effort i put behind dese results stay hidden... being hidden is not so bad for me... no point being seen wen nobody notices even if yer dere rite? time wil never b on our side bcuz it has to move on while we wan it to stop for us... i dun even noe y m i even bothering myself wit dis... i jz sumwhere to let it all out i guess... wads to b expected of me?? y does it haf to b so much dat has to b expected frm me? based on situations i m being judged s sumwan hu alwiz feels inferior howeva wen e situation requires me to b confidence in their favor im over-confident... wad justifies how anybody luks at me... im arrogant if i keep my criticism n opinion but im overestimating my abilities or being full of myself if i raise doubts in sumwan's stand or opinion? dat cant b how u judge a person... dats jz biased if u do it dat way... i duno much about judging ppl i jz judge dem based on wheda im comfortable wit dem or not... dats basically abt it... i guess i'll jz end it here...

2008-03-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

hmm lets see... gotta start off with sumfink a lil fantastic... firstly i might haf jz set a new personal record on

2007-12-10T17:06:00.000+08:00

rili full of spider webs edi...hafnt updated in a long time..din fink i'd update it neways...haha but kinda bored so tot i'd come do sumfink wit e blog...
finks haf happened..finks dat i regret doin, finks i'm glad i did n oso finks i din noe i did...mostly finks dat hurt ppl...so far dats wad all my actions haf done...i noe i hurt e person dat probably loved me e most...i did sumfink out of rashness...i did sumfink even i canot forgive myself for...let alone her...i dun hope for her to forgive me...i jz hope she noe y i did wad i did afta saying sumfink i culd neva haf taken back...same goes for e person i hurt b4...altho it seems lyk eryfinks ok i noe we all haf our lives to get on wit...splittin up wuld b much much better den continuing to b frens...a lot of finks i haf regretted doin but some i did bcuz i had to based on my own evaluation of e circumstances...at least dats my excuse...i noe finks culda ended differently if i made a diff decision but now i dun fink anyone wuld listen...n i wil not get a chance to atone for wad i haf done dat hurt dem so much...erytime i fink it wuld b better i'd change my mind s soon s i did it...at least dis time i get to meet a person dat noes far more better den me wad is e fink she wana keep...she made me c how much it means to e other person if i persisted...i guess im not rili dat patient a guy...i cant keep my temper in check altho my temper is not those dat wuld blow up at yer face wit all kinds of insults...it is still nonetheless hurting to e ppl hu rili care bout me...for now i wuldnt say i noe hu rili cares...but for the meantime, at least i noe hu cares at all bout me..i noe hu loves me...altho there are doubts im still happy dey show dat dey care...dis is the last year i'll c most of e ppl i rili lyk...i hope we will get to meet in e future...i hope at least we wuld meet in e coming year..regardless of where it is...my blessings to eryone in pursuing wad dey rili wana b...if u r forced to do wad u dun lyk pls dun do it...oni do wad u r interested in...yer future shuld at least b decided by yerself from dis day onwards...advice can b taken but it duz not haf to b accepted...i rili hope these 2 person will forgive me for wad i haf done dat probably hurt dem a lot...im sorry i dun haf e courage to make up for wad i did n to revert e mistakes i made...i hope both of u wil get on wit yer life happily n find sumwan worth yer attention, care n most importantly yer love...

haha

2007-09-18T20:48:00.000+08:00

oh my god...i m so confused...sumbody save me...

2007-07-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

yea i guess eryfink i say dun mean anifink...i rarely mean wad i m saying...i duwana haf a mirror for a fren..i duwan eryfink i say to bounce bec at my face...i wan a person s a fren...n obviously u duwana b dat person...i dun mind..if dat wil make u happier..i jz hope dats wad u rili wan...mebe im not worth2b yer fren..i duno...or mebe wen u duwana b reminded of any of our stuff wen u c me or talk to me...i jz wana noe...i duwan all yer excuses...i guess im being harsh again but dis time i seriously jz wana noe...i duwan u to patronize me n giv me all kinds of diff reasons....

2007-07-09T15:13:00.000+08:00

u stil c my blog??haha i din noe...i'm kinda surprised i guess...altho u dun care s much at least u stil c it...i neva sed i dun luv her...neida did i say our memories r not at all happy wans...i jz sed if i kept memories it wuld bring bec bad wans as well...i admit i'm together wit her now partly cuz she reminds me of u...but wen its not dat time i rili luv her for hu she is...now i noe dat we can neva even b frens again..i alwiz use to fink dat if we stopped being couples we can at least b frens...at least frens hu wil say hi or even jz a smile wen dey cross each other's path..but i guess u jz shut yerself away frm me...so i guess being frens is impossible...u shud noe me...i'm not e kind hu wuld pester anyone after dey made finks clear...i can take a hint..i wun b dat thick skinned...i'm not dat kinda person...i'm stil regretting bout finks i did in e past...i jz hope u noe dere r finks i wished i din do before...breaking up wit u wuz one of it...i noe it means nafink now...jz to let u noe..n i din regret having u s my gurlfren eventho now we cant even remain s frens..i guess i can tel u i wil appreciate wad i haf now since i noe i mite lose more den jz her if i dun...

2007-07-07T20:42:00.000+08:00

hahaha...battle of the band jz passed...kinda happie actualli...altho our mic wuz lyk so so so soft...at least we did much better den wen we jammed...haha...atropus rox...i love atropus...haha...eww...cant blive i'm saying dis...hahaha...neways dey rili rock...we got our first time experience...so we're gonna do better nex time...surely...hahaha...vedy vedy vedy sorrie to mushroom n mc...cuz i totally went overboard wen i expressed my unhappiness towards e judges to mushroom...i'm rili sorrie...wuz kinda jz a bit bushuang n there wuz kinda a bit of joking in dere...hope it din hurt our frenship...neways jz wana say a big sorrie to mushroom n e mcs...u guys did great...evryfink wuz great...if u guys din do dis battle of the band i wudnt get to watch e performance of my life...neida wud i haf got e first onstage experience...haha...thx mc...

2007-07-02T20:01:00.000+08:00

haha din noe u always come c dis...hahaha...wads so wierd bout it?i can neva haf enuf frens...hard s i tried i dun fink i can ever let it go yet...its i dun feel lyk rembering it s memories...its jz dat weneva i luk bec it alwiz hurts...i duno wad it means eida...mebe its cuz i hafnt completely giv up ba...not i duwan is i cant...i oso duno how to do it...mebe i together wit her is cuz i rili c sum part of u wen i'm wit her...altho dat rarely happens...i wudnt wan any of my frens to care lesser den dey do now...i'm happie now but sad at e same time...cuz i feel empty now...lyk sumfink is lost...mebe wen im wit her i haf e feeling wen i wuz wit u ba...but y now u lyk trying to ignore me?i rili duno y...

duno wassit about

2007-06-30T13:58:00.000+08:00

haha jz saw sumfink dat made me try to forget stuff...memories...i guess she can let it go as well...seeing how she removes my name...n how she never wana noe wad is happening to me...neways i stil duno y i cant let it go yet...but neither can i fully pick it up...my hands are full wit finks i stil care about n i cant afford to lose anifink..i guess i haf to learn to luk at stuff n hope dey turn out rite...haha i'm goin to a band competition as a vocalist...omg..i cant believe it...y cant i jz b the bassist?sienz...neways its all for the fun...haha...hope i dun embarass myself too much...haha...hope sumfinks can jz b deleeted frm our memory permanently so i can try to jz b frens...n not lose a fren jz lyk dat...i jz read a buk lately..i learnt frm the buk dat we shudnt focus on materialistic stuff cuz we cant bring dem to where we are goin after we die...love is immortal...even after we die love wil always b a part of us...love each other or perish...dats wad i learnt...

you, me, fate...

2007-05-12T18:29:00.000+08:00

haha...fate has run out on us...mebe evryfink is how she sed...evryfink wen unexpectedly...the stain, or rather the fragrant smell dat used to cling to me 3 years ago
stil sticks to me, unnoticed...fate rili ran out on us dis time...no one expected dis...i culd say i didnt but i wuld b lying...i made dis happen...i wuz wad caused evryfink to be wad it is now...i jz hope nobody got hurt in the process...mebe im jz getting bored but i fink i wil continue to hurt more ppl if i go on...wheda i shud or shud not go on is a question...evryfink is happening unexpectedly...
haha i guess i shud jz relax..but i rili hope i dun lose my frens...haha...neways...dats all i guess...buhbye...

2007-04-28T17:32:00.000+08:00

omg...realised so many finks suddenly...certain stuff r better left unsaid...den y izit i feel these mixed feeling??mebe certain stuff nid to b clarified asap...keeping finks inside wil jz cause more regrets...i din noe...y din u say anifink during all those times we chatted?den at least i wudnt hurt anyone...we haf to jz keep moving on in life...but den some finks jz cant b forgotten....memories...mistakes...jz cant b left behind easily...i rili hope we wud haf a chance..but i dun fink now is the time...we dun haf anitime now to fink bout anifink xtra...i guess u've edi found out...so i guess i dun haf to tel u anifink...i jz hope wadeva it is...u wud try to forget the past n all those sad stuff n jz move on in life...jz b happy in life...u mite not blive it..but dat feeling neva left me...i jz din wana hurt anyone anymore...so wad u decided wuz actually wad i wud do neways...at least now i noe...jz hope we can still b frens n u wud b more cheerful...dats wad i hope...

2007-04-09T10:09:00.000+08:00

haha...hafnt update for a long time edi...blog here collecting dust edi...dun haf much to wite about...jz dat exams r over...fell kinda relaxed aldou din study much...but exam time super stressing...keep haf to worry bout hu to copy n how to copy...finally dats over edi...so can shake a leg up n rest...but den mid yr exams coming soon in may...oh my gawd...dats lyk 2, 3 weeks away...i'm doomed...jz found out a lot of stuff...our scul sux...actually its e tcher dat sux...so bloody racist...wads wrong wit dem n chineses...its not like we owe dem sumfink or wad...y do dey hafta restrict our fun n jz add to our labour...y cant dey treat everyone equally...battle of the band can no longer b held...jz bcuz he THINKS we r distributing drugs or stuff...he jz cant take the fact dat we can organize successful n legal stuff...unlike their kind....bloody idiot...enuf bout dat...theres sum finks i stil cant get out of my head...finks bout her...i found sumwan else...but i m stil hesitating...it sgood she duznt wana rush it..den i can confirm my feelings n take time to fink bout wad i rili wan n hu i wan...aldou i noe deres no turning bec...at least i noe hu it is i wan...n i wud stop myself frm hurting e wan dat chose me...but den it seems time is running out..finks dat nid my attention r increasing...finks i haf to fink about pile up evry single day...yet my mood is stil hafing a vacation in form 4...somebody save me...y cant life jz b simple...no troubles...no hatred n no evil...life is meant to b enjoyed...aldou dey sed happiness nid to b earned...like i duno hu sed, yer partner is edi dere, if u cant find her it jz means u nid to get thru more roadblocks til u reach it...i jz hope i din hurt anyone too much...n i hope u can forgive me...bcuz i wil nvr forget u...

8th feb-my burfday

2007-02-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

haha jz past my burfday...super happie...haha...got so many burfday prezzies...hahaha...5 MANGOES!!! woww....super weird...first time me getting fruit4my burfday....but den vedy totful of my frens...haha...thx everybody for the burfday song at canteen...so loud...haha...so paiseh disturb all those eating dere at dat time...thx4all the prezzies...the cards...thx to my gang for e 'special' burfday bash...thx to wanyi casin yongle wanting korxian shiling meikee sinlee shihui irene ruimin songye samuel yanwei shawn fujun lihjian aaron bin koksiong tharma kamal shaotat ban shenyeong helen chaiqin kwishan keemee...thx everyone for a vedy vedy happie burfday...thx 4 e 5 mangoes especially...hahaha...vedy vedy happie....thx everyone again...

first post?

2006-11-15T00:09:00.000+08:00

haha i guess this is my first real post...haha test so many times liau...hmm duno wana write wad first..sienz...lotsa stuff happened edi...scul ending...me working...miracle...haha...haiz n den of cuz my breakup...haiz...one small decision lyk dat can cause dat much pain...haiz...but den if i din do wad i did i'd b makin e both of us sufferin...duno wheda wad i did wuz rite onot...i dun even noe wad i wan now...wad the heck...its better jz to leave it alone...memories lyk dis are better kept in the bec of our mind...dats all for today i guess...dear arr..i guess dis is the least time i'm calling u dis le ba...u muz b happy arr...try to forget me s yer dear...okayy??i'm jz yer fren now...i stil care...jz differently...muz forget kayy?i noe its not easy...im hafing a hard time oso...

2006-10-17T18:32:00.001+08:00

hmm...
testing again....and again

2006-10-17T18:32:00.000+08:00

hmm...
woww...testing again....and again

2006-10-17T18:24:00.000+08:00

hmm...
woww...testing again....

2006-10-17T17:59:00.000+08:00

hmm... jz testing...hehez...

woww